The Aurumancer (A Swords and Wizardry/Old School Class)

While some look to draw their powers from gods or eldritch energies, the banking mages of Alt-St. Fran's pledged themselves to a higher power: wealth. What better way to distance yourself from the riff-raff than to kill them with your pocket book?

Prime Attribute: Intelligence 13+
Hit Dice: 1d6 per level
Armor: Cloth
Weapons: clubs, daggers, staves, and crossbows
Saving Throw: As magic user
Experience: As cleric
Attacks: As magic user with weapons, as fighter with Molten Gold

Molten Gold: The aurumancer can transmute golden coinage or treasure into streams of molten gold to attack enemies. Using this ability requires sacrificing 10 gp (or its equivalent in treasure), has a range of 30 ft, and deals 1d6 damage. For each level the aurumancer has above first, he or she can sacrifice an additional 10 gp to add +1 to the damage. Gold used in this manner is ruined by the attempt.

Like this, but, you know, out of a dude's hand.

  Armor of Wealth: For every 100 gp worth of jewelry an aurumancer wears his or her magics become more tangible, increasing their AC +1 (up to +6).

Mr. T is basically walking around in full plate at this point.

Aurumancer's Eye: At second level, the aurumancer can replace one of their eyes with a magicked golden ball in a ritual that costs 100 gp. This allows them to know anyone's wealth relative to theirs (poorer than me, richer than me, about the same) just by looking at them or a thing they handled within the last week.

Consume Wealth: At fifth level, the aurumancer gains the ability to consume rare and sought-for magic items to boost their personal power. Consuming a one-use magic item (such as a scroll or potion) grants +1d6 to one of their stats or hp for one hour. Consuming a permanent magic item instead gives them a permanent +1 (up to max). Consuming a magic item is an hour-long ritual with much wine drinking, pursing of lips, mustache-twitching, and harumphing.

Palace: At ninth level the aurumancer can create a palace of obnoxious wealth for themselves. This palace will  attract a host of guards, merchants and rich, cutthroat nobles loyal to the aurumancer (or at least, loyal to the aurumancer's bank account).

Five Unusual Treasures (Revisted): Now with More Magic!

I couldn't get some of the treasures of this post out of my head. They spoke to me, saying "Hey, man, gimme some magic already." So, I did.

a copper decanter with images of the harvest god tilling, sowing, and reaping 
This decanter was presented to King Tors by a young blacksmith. The king, upon seeing his face in place of the harvest god's gonads beat the blacksmith to death with her own decanter. Now her vengeful spirit rests in the piece. Anytime liquid is poured from this decanter with the intent of hydrating a living being it is transmuted to molten iron. If the blacksmith could be given vengeance, she might be willing to do this transformation on command once per week.

David Latimer. He's got my mind on terrariums lately. Plus, they're cool. Shut up.

an ancient 2' diameter sealed terrarium with some moss, a creeping fig, and a few toads
This terrarium protects whoever carries it from starvation, thirst, poisoning, and old age. In addition, the moss always grows on the side of the terrarium closest to water, the fig's leaves always face towards the sun, and the toads always look at the nearest living creature besides the holder. All that aside, it is a terrarium, and is fragile as fuck.

a set of false teeth (15 ivory, 7 silver, 2 gold, 1 platinum, 1 adamantine, 1 emerald, 5 missing)
These false teeth were once owned by a rowdy-but-unhygienic dwarven warrior king. Each tooth can be pulled from the mouth, at which point it transforms into a weapon made of that material. The ivory teeth turn into spears. The silver teeth turn into daggers. The gold teeth turn into battle aspergillums that deal double damage against undead. The platinum one turns into a lance, which if thrown, is unaffected by gravity. The adamantine tooth turns into the king's personal battleaxe, Bathbane, which becomes more deadly the longer the wielder has gone without a bath. The emerald tooth turns into a knife which cannot be seen in sunlight.

I'm surprised I found this one.

Ten statues of fishermen carved from agate
If placed on the edge of a river and left over night, each one of these statues will produce a fish. If placed on a doorstep, each will instead produce a hireling, prostitute, or criminal.

 

I am not surprised I couldn't find this one.

a sapphire-encrusted silver chalice with a blade for the stem
Attacking with this chalice/dagger is difficult: one must either grasp it by the mouth (awkward, -4 attack) or by the blade (painful, attacker takes half damage). This chalice possesses a primitive biological physiology. When someone is stabbed by this blade, they must make a save or have a chalice seed planted within them. The chalice seed takes three days to mature (a very painful process for the host) before it bursts from the host's abdomen fully formed (treat as a coup de grace).

Five Unusual Treasure Hordes

Each one of these treasure hordes adds up to be a total of 500 gold pieces, so you can just add them wholesale to more mundane hordes if you so wish.

Twenty copper rings (2 gp), clogs carved with bacchanal scenes of alligatormen (5 gp), five bronze tablets depicting the god of law in a series of distasteful sexual acts (313 gp), a jade nose ring (70 gp), a vest of unicorn leather (60 gp), an ancient 2' diameter sealed terrarium with some moss, a creeping fig, and a few toads (50 gp), and a bottled seed labeled "World Tree Seed" (actually just an apricot core; worthless)

 Ten statues of fishermen carved from agate (120 gp), a bag of expertly crafted marbles (dyed black, red, and white; 25 gp), a copper decanter with images of the harvest god tilling, sowing, and reaping (30 gp), a necklace of golden pearls and ivory boat charms (300 gp), and a set of tigerskin underpants (25 gp).

A beautifully inked IOU from Timmac Moundfellow for 400 gp (long dead, worthless), a platinum holy symbol of the god of narcissism (bent; 20 gp), two platinum armbands in the shape of goat skulls (80 gp), 200 misprinted gold pieces (50 gp), a peridot and silver leaf-shaped earring (60 gp), a cape of roc feathers (180 gp), a pair of winged gold boots (90 gp) and an ivory tongue depressor (20 gp).

BLEEEEEEEEARGH

Several thumbnail-sized flakes of mithril (20 gp), an amateur-cut topaz (150 gp), ancient dwarven clay mushroom-storing pot (25 gp), twenty bronze buttons shaped like bats (15 gp), a gold-plated hedgehog (40 gp), a thousand page thesis comparing astrological cycles to the size of a barn owl's pupil (30 gp), sapphire-encrusted silver chalice with a blade for the stem (220 gp).

An illuminated manuscript of the sun goddess's holy book (30 gp), the silk cassock, cope, and stole of a high priestess of the death goddess (115 gp), an iron medallion with a rune of protection on it (non-magical; 5 gp), a set of false teeth (15 ivory, 7 silver, 2 gold, 1 platinum, 1 adamantine, 1 emerald, 5 missing; 305 gp), and a ceremonial bolas made from dried minotaur testes (45 gp)

Living Treasures: Horses of Myth Pt. 1

This post begins a series of posts that I've had backed up as drafts for one reason or another. Anyways, horses are cool. Magical horses are fucking cool. Both need more attention. Enough said.

Dravnr, Horse of Arrows

This horse was once the companion of an archer of legend. When the horse was killed unjustly, its spirit inhabited the archer's quiver and the horse made a new body of arrows. The horse can fire the arrows that make its body and fly. Being a spirit, the horse cannot cross over hallowed ground and is harmed by holy water. (This one is actually based on a joke resulting from a mounted archer PC who carried ungodly amounts of arrows on him).

Tom Dashing, Wanderbull's Cat/Horse
This beast once belonged to the eccentric wizard Wanderbull. During a duel of spells his opponent cast a spell of reincarnation upon Wanderbull, which he was able to reflect--right onto his cat familiar (whoops). Tom now appears in physical manners as a horse, except for his vertically-slit cat eyes. Despite years of living in a horse's body, the cat/horse still sees itself as a housecat, and is taken to activities such as licking itself while in his owner's lap, and hacking up furballs.

Vladimir

This six-legged horse was born of a trickster god and a mortal horse. If one of this horse's hooves are pressed into molten lead, the resultant hoofprint will produce prophecies. Vladimir is a lover of poetry and all spoken and performed arts.

Rhaefaxi, the Horse of a Thousand Bodies
Each sunset, Rhaefaxi dies a screaming, melting death, only to be born anew by sunrise in a new body. Sometimes she is born an owlbear, sometimes a house cat (and very rarely, a horse). Placing an iron band forged over a cold anvil around her neck will cause her to stay in the same form, but also make her resentful. (For Rhaefaxi, I suggest fandangling some way to roll a d26 each sunrise, taking the corresponding letter, and looking for the most appropriate monster that starts with the letter in whatever bestiary is at hand).