Five Unusual Treasures (Revisted): Now with More Magic!

I couldn't get some of the treasures of this post out of my head. They spoke to me, saying "Hey, man, gimme some magic already." So, I did.

a copper decanter with images of the harvest god tilling, sowing, and reaping 
This decanter was presented to King Tors by a young blacksmith. The king, upon seeing his face in place of the harvest god's gonads beat the blacksmith to death with her own decanter. Now her vengeful spirit rests in the piece. Anytime liquid is poured from this decanter with the intent of hydrating a living being it is transmuted to molten iron. If the blacksmith could be given vengeance, she might be willing to do this transformation on command once per week.

David Latimer. He's got my mind on terrariums lately. Plus, they're cool. Shut up.

an ancient 2' diameter sealed terrarium with some moss, a creeping fig, and a few toads
This terrarium protects whoever carries it from starvation, thirst, poisoning, and old age. In addition, the moss always grows on the side of the terrarium closest to water, the fig's leaves always face towards the sun, and the toads always look at the nearest living creature besides the holder. All that aside, it is a terrarium, and is fragile as fuck.

a set of false teeth (15 ivory, 7 silver, 2 gold, 1 platinum, 1 adamantine, 1 emerald, 5 missing)
These false teeth were once owned by a rowdy-but-unhygienic dwarven warrior king. Each tooth can be pulled from the mouth, at which point it transforms into a weapon made of that material. The ivory teeth turn into spears. The silver teeth turn into daggers. The gold teeth turn into battle aspergillums that deal double damage against undead. The platinum one turns into a lance, which if thrown, is unaffected by gravity. The adamantine tooth turns into the king's personal battleaxe, Bathbane, which becomes more deadly the longer the wielder has gone without a bath. The emerald tooth turns into a knife which cannot be seen in sunlight.

I'm surprised I found this one.

Ten statues of fishermen carved from agate
If placed on the edge of a river and left over night, each one of these statues will produce a fish. If placed on a doorstep, each will instead produce a hireling, prostitute, or criminal.

 

I am not surprised I couldn't find this one.

a sapphire-encrusted silver chalice with a blade for the stem
Attacking with this chalice/dagger is difficult: one must either grasp it by the mouth (awkward, -4 attack) or by the blade (painful, attacker takes half damage). This chalice possesses a primitive biological physiology. When someone is stabbed by this blade, they must make a save or have a chalice seed planted within them. The chalice seed takes three days to mature (a very painful process for the host) before it bursts from the host's abdomen fully formed (treat as a coup de grace).

OSR Jousting via the Interweb!

Signal boost for this, a super-awesome-looking Chainmail-variant jousting tournament done via the Google+ group Jousting Fields of Normandy. Come joust, or at least come watch my knight, Sir Vantes de la Mancha (he's a fighting-man here, but obviously he's actually a quixote), get his butt chewed in the tilt-yards. FLAILSNAILS compatable!

Sir Vantes de la Mancha
STR 11
INT 10
WIS 6
DEX 13
CON 10
CHA 7

HP 7
GP 80
STATION Bachelor
ARMOR Mail Hauberk (AC 5)
SHIELD Wooden Round Shield (BF# 1-4)
HORSE Heavy Warhorse
SQUIRE Santo Panzar  T1 (HP 3, AC 8, boiled leather, dagger)
RETINUE 2 filthy peasants

Five Unusual Treasure Hordes

Each one of these treasure hordes adds up to be a total of 500 gold pieces, so you can just add them wholesale to more mundane hordes if you so wish.

Twenty copper rings (2 gp), clogs carved with bacchanal scenes of alligatormen (5 gp), five bronze tablets depicting the god of law in a series of distasteful sexual acts (313 gp), a jade nose ring (70 gp), a vest of unicorn leather (60 gp), an ancient 2' diameter sealed terrarium with some moss, a creeping fig, and a few toads (50 gp), and a bottled seed labeled "World Tree Seed" (actually just an apricot core; worthless)

 Ten statues of fishermen carved from agate (120 gp), a bag of expertly crafted marbles (dyed black, red, and white; 25 gp), a copper decanter with images of the harvest god tilling, sowing, and reaping (30 gp), a necklace of golden pearls and ivory boat charms (300 gp), and a set of tigerskin underpants (25 gp).

A beautifully inked IOU from Timmac Moundfellow for 400 gp (long dead, worthless), a platinum holy symbol of the god of narcissism (bent; 20 gp), two platinum armbands in the shape of goat skulls (80 gp), 200 misprinted gold pieces (50 gp), a peridot and silver leaf-shaped earring (60 gp), a cape of roc feathers (180 gp), a pair of winged gold boots (90 gp) and an ivory tongue depressor (20 gp).

BLEEEEEEEEARGH

Several thumbnail-sized flakes of mithril (20 gp), an amateur-cut topaz (150 gp), ancient dwarven clay mushroom-storing pot (25 gp), twenty bronze buttons shaped like bats (15 gp), a gold-plated hedgehog (40 gp), a thousand page thesis comparing astrological cycles to the size of a barn owl's pupil (30 gp), sapphire-encrusted silver chalice with a blade for the stem (220 gp).

An illuminated manuscript of the sun goddess's holy book (30 gp), the silk cassock, cope, and stole of a high priestess of the death goddess (115 gp), an iron medallion with a rune of protection on it (non-magical; 5 gp), a set of false teeth (15 ivory, 7 silver, 2 gold, 1 platinum, 1 adamantine, 1 emerald, 5 missing; 305 gp), and a ceremonial bolas made from dried minotaur testes (45 gp)